this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

JPMorgan made money that it did not, you would have to say, "deserve" to make

Probably what *this* should be called.
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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Tue Jun 14, 2022 8:55 pm

And there are the usual bad text messages:
Following the announcement, on August 5, 2021, using the encrypted messaging app, Roda sent Larkin a screen shot of the value of the options he purchased. Larkin responded, “Holy sh*t.” Unsatisfied with the illicit profits he had made, Roda responded that he “should’ve gone harder.”

In another message on August, 5, 2021, Larkin suggested that Roda could use the money to purchase a beach house. Roda responded, “ya if the SEC doesn’t come take it and put me in jail.”
Well, I am sorry to be pedantic, but technically the SEC can’t put you in jail. The SEC can only seek civil penalties; you only go to prison if federal prosecutors bring a parallel criminal case. They did though.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Crunchums » Tue Jun 14, 2022 9:09 pm

:lol:
u gotta skate

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Blissful » Wed Jun 15, 2022 9:42 am

Rylinks wrote: Tue Jun 14, 2022 8:55 pm And there are the usual bad text messages:
Following the announcement, on August 5, 2021, using the encrypted messaging app, Roda sent Larkin a screen shot of the value of the options he purchased. Larkin responded, “Holy sh*t.” Unsatisfied with the illicit profits he had made, Roda responded that he “should’ve gone harder.”

In another message on August, 5, 2021, Larkin suggested that Roda could use the money to purchase a beach house. Roda responded, “ya if the SEC doesn’t come take it and put me in jail.”
Well, I am sorry to be pedantic, but technically the SEC can’t put you in jail. The SEC can only seek civil penalties; you only go to prison if federal prosecutors bring a parallel criminal case. They did though.
lol
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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Wed Jun 22, 2022 6:15 pm

I think under traditional legal principles, if the officers of a legal entity sign a contract binding that legal entity to do something, a later vote by a Discord chat to reject the contract doesn’t carry much weight. But I think a lot of people who are really into crypto would disagree.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Fri Jul 08, 2022 3:30 am

Like at this point GameStop is its own special asset class; nobody is buying GameStop stock because they walk by a GameStop store at the mall and are like “oh GameStop, I enjoy buying video games there, I should buy the stock, I’m sure that an efficient market prices it appropriately so when I put in a market order I will pay a fair price for the present value of its long-term cash flows.”

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Ashenai » Fri Jul 08, 2022 4:24 am

If FIFTY BANKERS ever arrive at your office all at once, (1) you have done something terrible but (2) it is absolutely their problem, not yours.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Wed Jul 13, 2022 1:31 am

I assume that if you go to Chicago and you find a way to beat the market by 10% and you publish it, they will not give you your Ph.D. This is Chicago! They have standards to uphold. They’re not gonna let you go out and put $10 bills on the sidewalk.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Doug » Wed Jul 13, 2022 2:30 pm

Rylinks wrote: Wed Jul 13, 2022 1:31 am They’re not gonna let you go out and put $10 bills on the sidewalk.
I bet that's wrong
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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Jeb Bush 2012 » Mon Aug 22, 2022 7:13 pm

Yeah I mean if you bought Martin Shkreli Inu tokens and Martin Shkreli rug-pulled you (or, even better, if he got hacked while trying to download porn, as he is apparently claiming, and the hacker rug-pulled you), that seems about right. Crypto has created a way to tokenize and trade the aesthetic experience of getting scammed by Martin Shkreli, and the people who bought it got exactly what they paid for.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Tue Sep 06, 2022 7:14 pm

if you tried to connect directly to the New York Stock Exchange and post millions of dollars of bids and offers using your account at the Bank of Magic Beans then the NYSE would have questions.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Blissful » Wed Sep 07, 2022 12:04 am

this is an outrage
my BMB account is well stocked and in good standing
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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Wed Sep 14, 2022 7:14 pm

this is definitely definitely not investment advice, and if you are a hedge-fund analyst making the case for buying Twitter and you’re showing your boss my columns, knock it off right now.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Jeb Bush 2012 » Thu Sep 15, 2022 7:15 pm

Sixty-nine is the internet sex number.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Crunchums » Thu Sep 15, 2022 7:31 pm

Code: Select all

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2016/06/why-69-is-the-internets-coolest-number-sex (securities fraud).html
sixty nine is cool
fall leaves dapple underfoot
word filter shines bright
u gotta skate

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Blissful » Sun Sep 18, 2022 7:50 am

Crunchums wrote: Thu Sep 15, 2022 7:31 pm

Code: Select all

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2016/06/why-69-is-the-internets-coolest-number-sex (securities fraud).html
good WR+thread combo
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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Fri Sep 23, 2022 2:04 am

Roughly a quarter of the $50 billion of risky financing commitments that banks still have to sell is the $13 billion financing package for Elon Musk’s buyout of Twitter Inc., which was agreed in April, when the market was much better and when Musk had plans to make Twitter profitable. Those loans don’t look so good now that rates are higher, the market is weaker and Musk is going around saying that Twitter is a fraud that “threaten[s] U.S. national security and democracy itself.”

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Jeb Bush 2012 » Wed Sep 28, 2022 7:17 pm

Similarly, you never see prosecutors announce a murder conviction by saying “this murderer violated the very important law against murder.” Any time a regulator has to say explicitly that a rule is “very important,” that’s because he has some doubts.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Jeb Bush 2012 » Tue Oct 04, 2022 1:26 am

Imagine starting smoking, or smoking more, because of an app. “Just need to smoke one more pack to win a small prize in my smartphone app.” I feel like if Altria hired me for advice on how to keep people smoking cigarettes I would say things like “what you do is you put nicotine in the cigarettes, nicotine is highly addictive and then people won’t be able to stop smoking.” I guess that’s the advice you’d get from the people who are too enthusiastic about joining the Evil Department? But then what were the app people thinking?

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Tue Oct 04, 2022 3:02 am

the problem with stuff like this is that then Credit Suisse has to put out a statement saying that everything is fine, and nothing is worse for a bank than putting out a statement saying that everything is fine.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Tue Oct 04, 2022 4:24 pm

This year for Halloween I am going to go as It Becoming Clear to All Involved That There Was No Internal Control in Place to Track in Real Time the Amount of Securities Offered and Sold Against the Amount of Securities Registered. I think I would rather be eaten by a werewolf than have that become clear to me.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Wed Oct 05, 2022 1:45 pm

Just reading those words, two obvious avenues for shenanigans will occur to you. The first is that they could all go to court, and Musk could say “it’s okay, we’re closing soon, everything’s fine, just need to adjourn the trial,” and Twitter could say “yep, everything’s great, Musk’s word is good enough for us, we’ve never had any reason to doubt him,” and the judge could say “okay great, nice meeting you all, now I am going to leave immediately on a six-month vacation with no internet reception,”

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Ashenai » Wed Oct 05, 2022 7:21 pm

Last night Musk tweeted that “Buying Twitter is an accelerant to creating X, the everything app,” which sounds exhausting. The app will do everything, but it will start with two functions: You can read tweets, or you can be shot on a rocket into space. Choose wisely.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Luna » Wed Oct 05, 2022 8:40 pm

let's solve all the world's problems by shooting everyone who reads tweets into space

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Khaos » Wed Oct 05, 2022 8:42 pm

Luna wrote:let's solve all the world's problems by shooting everyone who reads tweets into space
:lets:

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Khaos » Wed Oct 05, 2022 8:43 pm

isnt the everything app just an operating system

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Ashenai » Wed Oct 05, 2022 8:46 pm

An operating system in itself can neither help you read tweets nor launch you into space. They are epic fail.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Skeletor » Thu Oct 06, 2022 1:34 am

Khaos wrote: Wed Oct 05, 2022 8:42 pm
Luna wrote:let's solve all the world's problems by shooting everyone who reads tweets into space
:lets:
ok fine i'll read tweets
wow, [you]. that all sounds terrible. i hope it gets better for you

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Skeletor » Thu Oct 06, 2022 1:36 am

everything app brings to mind other countries where they do their web browsing and online shopping and in store payment and peer to peer payment all in their chat/texting app
wow, [you]. that all sounds terrible. i hope it gets better for you

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by pterrus » Thu Oct 06, 2022 11:09 am

Luna wrote: Wed Oct 05, 2022 8:40 pm let's solve all the world's problems by shooting everyone who reads tweets into space
I am so down

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Ashenai » Fri Oct 07, 2022 3:09 pm

Programming note: This isn’t working, so let’s try something different. Money Stuff will be back with special editions this afternoon, this evening and at midnight tonight. It will also have several special editions per day over the weekend and on Monday. I don’t know how I am going to fill all this space. I hope news happens, frequently! For instance, it would be enormously helpful to me, as I struggle to find things to write about, if Elon Musk was doing weird things every few hours of this long weekend, so that I could write about them. If you know Musk, you might pass that request along for me. “Elon, Matt Levine really wants you to keep changing your mind on Twitter, so that he can write about it,” you could tell him. I’m sure he would sympathize, and I just don’t know what I will do this weekend without more drama from him.

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